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All summer long I have rested happily in the knowledge that I did not have a TAship this year, that I had plenty of time to work on my dissertation, in addition to writing abstracts 5 hours/week and taking Latin. A more senior PhD has turned down their TAship and I now have been assigned the one section for the spring portion of a year-long course, the same one I TA'ed for last year. On the bright side, this will be the first time I'll TA for a class I've already run a section for. For once, I can benefit from my experience!
It's nothing against teaching, I enjoy working with the students, even if studying to be sure I know more than they do each week always makes me nervous. It was more that this is the year I want to write most of my dissertation in. It's a sobering thought. I don't have much time, really, to do this project, and I've been lousy at concentrating lately. Fall term is now more important than ever in terms of productivity.
On the same lines, part of a dream I had last night involved me misspeaking to the chair of my department while passing by. I said "I've changed the focus of my dissertation" and he looks sternly worried and asked if I had cleared this with my committee, in a voice which implied I obviously hadn't. I hurriedly corrected myself, "I've narrow the focus of my dissertation!" and he looked less stern, if equally worried. The thing is, I'm happy about the fact I've narrowed the focus. It's a good thing. So why is my subconscious at all worried about it?
It's nothing against teaching, I enjoy working with the students, even if studying to be sure I know more than they do each week always makes me nervous. It was more that this is the year I want to write most of my dissertation in. It's a sobering thought. I don't have much time, really, to do this project, and I've been lousy at concentrating lately. Fall term is now more important than ever in terms of productivity.
On the same lines, part of a dream I had last night involved me misspeaking to the chair of my department while passing by. I said "I've changed the focus of my dissertation" and he looks sternly worried and asked if I had cleared this with my committee, in a voice which implied I obviously hadn't. I hurriedly corrected myself, "I've narrow the focus of my dissertation!" and he looked less stern, if equally worried. The thing is, I'm happy about the fact I've narrowed the focus. It's a good thing. So why is my subconscious at all worried about it?
(no subject)
As for the dream... I should do an LJ entry sometime on all the various dissertation-anxiety dreams I've had the last couple of years. Some of them have been very wild. ;) I would tend to think that the permanent, low-level dissertation anxiety we all live with has just chosen to fasten itself to a recent major decision you've made about the dissertation. Subconscious second-guessing, maybe....